APRIL 23, 2007 - WAUWATOSA, Wis. - People say the darndest things. Sometimes they say things that hurt other people's feelings. Other times, those words hurt an entire group of people.

So, how can adults help guide their children to want to say the right things and act respectfully toward people who may not look, speak or dress like them?

While society has moved on from Don Imus' insensitive gaffe against the Rutgers women's basketball team earlier this month, we need to continue to keep the message of why it was bad and how to diffuse future episodes in the forefront, according to diversity specialist, Jackie Valent.

"Diversity is this country's greatest asset and yet we collectively disrespect it," said Valent, who along with 30 bulldogs and their people, will spotlight the benefits of being different during the first National Bulldogs are Beautiful Day (www.bulldogsarebeautiful.com) on Saturday, April 28, 2007.

Valent said that when she speaks to children, she asks them not to judge others, despite what they hear other people, even adults, say.

"I tell kids that as good as they feel when someone says something nice to them, they could feel awful when someone makes fun of them or calls them names," Valent said. "I tell them to understand that sometimes people around them, even adults, might judge others, and that is wrong."

In an effort to break cycles in homes that promote prejudice and discrimination, Valent shares tips to help overthrow intolerance:

1. Spend a day in someone else's shoes. You will never know how someone feels to be made fun of because of a physical or emotional trait until you have spent time in his or her world.
2. Share time with someone who is different than you. You will find that people are basically the same; we all need air, water and food to survive. Our personalities set us apart and while you don't have to like a particular quality, respect that it make another person, special.
3. Listen and learn. A courtesy taught in kindergarten will help people throughout their lives. When we hear and care to what others say, we learn why they feel the way they do. Sometimes, people just want to be heard.
4. Journey into other neighborhoods and lands. Sometimes the best ways to learn about someone else's culture is to visit the place they call home, whether it's across town or with your parents to another state or country.

Once criticized and told that she would never get the job her credentials deserved, because she was overweight, Valent, who works for Deloitte & Touche, LLP (www.deloitte.com) as a human resources executive, speaks to children's and adult groups armed with statistics, experience and what she calls, human sense.

"In a world where music lyrics put people down, disrespect women and people of color, just to name a few, it takes more than saying 'do to others as you would have done onto you to help young people understand the harm caused by some language just doesn't cut it any more."

Among the tools Valent uses in her diversity coaching is her self-authored book, "Stinky the Bulldog" (www.stinkythebulldog.com ISBN: 9-7814208269-7-5 • 36 pages).

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"Stinky the Bulldog" by Jackie Valent • ISBN: 9-7814208269-7-5 • Price: $12.75 • 36 pages • stinkythebulldogmedia.com

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